Geez.

 I KNOW how absent I've been.

And I'm trying to get back in the groove. Believe me, I miss it so much. There just aren't enough hours in the day.

But basically, these next few weeks are going to be a pure devil's home for me.

NHD is due NEXT WEDNESDAY.

What do I have done? The background is colored white. And I have the title: "Friz Fre eng"

The L got screwed.

But that's it. I have all of the text, etc., etc. planned out, but I just CANNOT fathom how I will ever get done before then. Honestly.

And today I had my first stress attack, I think. It wasn't a full-fledged seizure type of thing, but my chest and throat got real tight. 

I NEVER stress out. So that was major for me.

I've never cried this much over a class project.

My teacher is expecting too much, in my opinion. She showed us examples, and there's NO FREAKING WAY mine will ever look that good. It already looks like crap.

And it weighs freaking 80 pounds. I'm freaking serious. It's going to be horrible trying to get it to school and back.

Plus the Spanish thing. Which I simply cannot fathom how that will get done either. 

So if you get snappy responses/hateful IM statuses/totally attacked by me before March 1st rolls around, that's why.

Because that's when the movie is due, and the final NHD is. 

___

But seriously. I haven't cried, or stressed out over a project this much.

My dad had to tell me to stop working on it. He said I'm doing my best, but my best doesn't seem to be good enough anymore.

It's just hopeless. 

But I was kind of hoping to try and actually win, to make it worth my while. But I'm guessing it doesn't get past regionals.

It's just hopeless.

This project has taken over my LIFE. I have no time to do ANY of the things I enjoy. All I did today was run a mile, then work on it. That's it. 

And what did I get done in the four hours of working? "Friz Fre eng"

It's just hopeless.